i needed a place to vent all my shit without it being seen by all my frinds and family. i dont think anyone is ever going to read this site and thats fine too but maybe just maybe someone somewhere will stumble across it and like, i dont know...get it?
take that link however you wanna take it. i thought it was funny but then i realised some people might find it worrying, maybe i should, but it was just a personal meme to lighten my own mood idk
anyway im probably just gonna use this like a lame rambling diary of sorts and it almost definitely will be riddled with html mistatkes and none of it will make any grammatical sense but whatever. stay cool. peace.
i dont know why i even exist at this point, like its honestly a mystery to me. all i ever do is sit around all day, drinking coffee, smoking, watching shitty horror videos and feeling sorry for myself. i feel like a total leech when im back home from university but i dont know how to fix it. i just started antidepressants and i dont know if theyre helping or making me even more demotivated.
earlier today my mum called me a lazy piece of shit because ive been procrastinating my summer painting coursework. she was heavily drunk and threatened to punch me. she probably wont remember telling me she doesnt want me here in the morning. i just really wish my brain worked and i could keep my shit together long enough to make some actual progress. i know she only wants whats best for me and i know i dont help myself a lot of the time....but, i just want to want to do things. i dont want to be told to want to do things.